Change. When something is no longer the same. I cannot and do not believe this is here and this is really happening. I live in North Carolina now. I have my very own apartment with all my own furniture and everything in here is mine. I'm hundreds of miles from everyone I know and love, and I start school in 2 weeks. As you'd expect, living alone, having my own place, starting school-- are not monumental moments, but are actually really, really nice. It's the being away from everyone that's put the knot in my stomach. Not a huge one, mind you, one that was small enough to go unnoticed for a few hours, but large enough to keep me from being hungry a majority of the day.
So let's back this up. All last week I was trying to prepare for this move. I wanted everything packed and organized in a way that would make loading and unloading the truck really easy. I had tons of helpers who really pulled through and made this possible. I was also trying to see as many people as I could before leaving and trying to hit up some of my favorite spots too. (Including a day trip with Jim out to Herkimer, and up to Custard Cottage with a detour through Old Forge.) When Thursday rolled around and it was pack-the-truck day, I started to feel the anxiety of moving. I never got overwhelmed, I never broke down and cried, I simply accepted it. I accepted that this was happening, and there were numerous things that had to be done in order to accomplish the move. So I approached moving as a set of small, achievable tasks. I think that helped keep me from freaking out. It also helped that I didn't really say goodbye to anyone. I said a lot of "See you later!" or "Till next time!" and that helped keep things in perspective. I mean, let's face it. I'm not gone forever. I'm gone for a few months. Think about it. During musical time, who all do I actually see for those few months if you're not directly involved with the shows I'm doing? Think of it like that, and it's not so bad anymore.
I digress. Thursday is truck packing day and Pupah came over to help me finish getting stuff into boxes and before I knew it, it's 5:00 and time to get the truck. From there, things start to blur. My cousin Sean, my friend Stewart, my girl Kristy, and then Stan, Mom and Dad all came to help load up Big Mama. (The truck.) I received the blessing from my mom that I had prepped pretty well and the whole process went smoothly. Sean's UPS skills came in handy as he spear headed the load-in, and honestly, not a thing moved from Thursday night until Saturday afternoon. Seriously not a box shifted, not a lamp broke, everything showed up in the same condition it was in when we left. After celebrating our victory at Zebb's, it was time for bed. Sleep was not my friend last week as I really wanted it to be, which is probably why it wasn't, but there was nothing to be done for that. Friday became a "get everything done that I didn't do this week" kind of day and I even threw in a few extras. My sister Kristy was a huge help as we cleaned out the rest of the Fellows, and ran errands to prep for the drive. This was the first moment I felt a little emotional. I walked through the Fellows, kinda stopped in each room, had a sad song playing in my head to accentuate the moment, and thought of a few memories before moving on to the next. That place was my home for 4 years and it was wonderful. I'm entirely different now than I was when I moved in. A lot of what I learned living at the Fellows has prepared me for living alone now. I'm sad to have had to leave, but happy to have so many memories.
So after a brief rest, I get up and shower and the whole family prepares for take off. Around 11:45pm we officially head south for Greensboro. With stops for gas, bathrooms, stretching, and driver-shifting, we arrived in Greensboro at 12:20pm Saturday afternoon. My adrenaline was pumping and here we experience the second time I felt emotional regarding this move. When I opened my door for the very first time and walked around, I had that "Oh shit, this is really happening." moment. After a second I pulled it together and we started the unloading process. It was as easy as I'd hoped it would be. Dad, Kristy, and I would unload boxes and get them to Stan and Mom who referenced my list and placed the boxes in the appropriate rooms. When we were tired or too hot we'd rest. When we were on a roll, we kept going. We even got all of my furniture out and into the apartment with no issue. My family is full of rock stars and they shone brightest on Saturday. We had everything done and inside before we even went to get Shannon. From here the next couple days blend together. There was shopping, eating, laughing, more eating, TONS more laughing, some sleeping, and a lot of unpacking. I discovered that some furniture pieces that I've had for decades I no longer need simply because they no longer serve a purpose. Now that I have a bathroom with space for all of my stuff that I don't have to share with anyone, I don't need two separate surfaces to lay out make up and hair supplies. Now that I have fancy new bookcases (a gift from the fam!) I no longer need an old bookcase covered in crayon and gum. Growing up is strange indeed.
The laughing is probably the part I'll remember most from this whole trip. All six of us are parts of a larger whole and have very similar senses of humor. Combine that with the fact that we're all a little bit awesome and you have yourself an entertaining time. Seriously, we would be in a restaurant, or sitting in my living room, or split up between two cars, and the laughter would flow freely from everyone and everywhere. No one yelled. No one got mad. There were times that exhaustion would rear its ugly head and people would feel a little tense. Those were the times we sought solitude. Everyone respected each others needs for solitude and space, as much as everyone was there the second they were needed. It was absolutely incredible to have my family here for this. Now that I'm hundreds of miles away, I feel closer to them all.
So that brings us back to today. Shannon left last night and the rest left this morning. I didn't cry, I didn't freak out, but I did get the knot in my stomach. I spent a lot of today sitting. I still need to take it all in. There is lots to do, but I have nothing but time right now. Today I built the 3rd bookcase, emptied the boxes of music and books (though there are a solid 5 books I can't find right now... that's mildly concerning) and shifted around a cupboard and couple drawers in the kitchen. The rest of the time was spent napping, sitting on the internet or playing spider solitaire, or sitting. I know me and I know this is how I deal. There is a very good reason I took 2 years to wrap my head around pursuing a DMA. It makes no sense to think I will be a fully functioning human being in mere hours living 5 states away from where I was born. So I will continue to do this my way, and continue tackling one box at a time. I have one room that needs a lot of work, and my bedroom that needs a moderate amount of work. I still need to purchase a few storage units for my music files, and something for the dining room, but I have furniture, art work on the walls, and little imprints of my whole family being here with me for my first few days in North Carolina. I'm gonna be just fine.
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