I had not shared this earlier because I wasn't really sure what to make of it. Not two days after my Indiana audition did I receive an e-mail from a voice faculty saying they thought I'd be a good fit for their DM program.
I mean, that says to me, hey, we want you! But let's face facts. I've never done this before. Maybe this woman is 85 years old and lives in her own little world and decided to email all the people she liked best shortly after having a long conversation with her teacup. OR, maybe she was letting me know early on that they were interested in me.
Well that all was answered today as I received my first official acceptance letter. Indiana University has accepted me into their music program. I still will not hear until April about anything financially but it certainly says something to be accepted musically by the #2 ranked music school in the nation.
I suppose what I'm saying is if I REALLY wanted to get this doctorate no matter WHAT, I officially can because there is at least one school that wants me to get my degree there.
That's not a bad feeling at all.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Could not do this for a living.
I've realized that apart from being a professional blogger, a professional weight loss champ, and a professional wrestler, I can add professional auditioner to the list of things I will never be. I dabble. One might say I'm a dabbler. I'm okay with this. Today I said out loud that I could never audition as a living. (Meaning, become a professional singer who makes their living from getting gigs after, you guessed it, auditioning.) It is exhausting, to say the very least. I found myself going through the motions this entire trip out to Michigan (the location of the week!) and had to really pull myself together to give as committed a performance as I have the last 2 weekends. I forgot to pack all sorts of ridiculous things like my hair brush, a second shirt, my make up wipes, my phone charger... luckily I had the car charger with me so crisis averted there.
I just felt strange this week. Maybe it was residual jet lag from last week? I ended up cancelling all lessons on Wednesday because I woke up with a bit of a sore throat and made the decision to be a performer, not a teacher, which means my voice comes first. It's also nice to know I'll have Thursdays and Fridays for make ups, so that helps. It turned out to be a great decision because I went back to bed after sending all of the appropriate e-mails and slept until 1:30pm. Obviously my body needs the rest. Last night I slept like absolute crap on a cracker, but it did not negatively affect my singing today.
I mean, can you tell just by what I've typed already that I'm not entirely "with it" right now? I'll skip the "I know this is right for me" because we all know that by now, and that is continually reinforced even as each day goes by. I am constantly reminded either from observing phenomenal teaching, or from feeling the effects of working too hard for too little pay, that this is the right move. So onto the audition!
After getting up this morning and buying a hair brush, I was able to shower and prepare to find this school.
*Shout out to my parents for the wicked awesome GPS I got for xmas. Seriously best gift ever. Followed closely by the decanter. And my wireless drill. And my fuzzy socks. And my board game. Okay, I got some good stuff this xmas, but the GPS has paid itself forward 8 billion times already.*
I get to the building and immediately meet a turkey. A large, wild turkey that the locals cleverly call "Turk" who was chilling on the steps between me and my intended door. Two thoughts simultaneously popped in my head. One was a picture I imagined while listening to a story of an old Denny's friend being chased and pecked at by wild turkeys in Mattydale. The other was my Dad's voice sizing up the turkey, deciding "Turk" looked delicious. Dad's views won out and I cautiously made my way around the turkey who joined me in ascending a few steps but otherwise left me unscathed.
Once I made it to the check-in lobby, everything started looking up. I found the rooms I needed, got a small bite to eat, got a practice room and warmed up, and started the process of the third audition. My rehearsal with the accompanist went smoothly, he was super nice and encouraging, said I'd be a great fit at UMich. That's always nice to hear no matter who it's from. After a quick lunch, I re-warmed up (this was over the span of 2 hours) and headed to my audition room. When it was my turn to sing, I felt the same confidence I've had the last two times, complete with no dry mouth and announced my first choice. They then picked some of the most obscure rep from my list and I was pretty stoked to sing works I hadn't done at other schools. Only problem is, I TOTALLY messed up in one spot.
I know, I wasn't even going to mention it. I literally spent the last hour on the phone with Jim and at various points in the conversation I'd drift back to my audition and a few times I'd even blurt out about how I messed up and I shouldn't focus on it but I am. It's ridiculous. It was a small error, it was still a musical performance, and I was still able to show them what I can do as a singer. And I will never, EVER make that same mistake again, for the rest of my life.
Moving on, at the end they asked me about my teaching, mentioning how interesting it is that I've taught not only private voice but studio voice and a couple classes in all aspects of music. I got the impression they were pretty impressed. :) Then she asked "Why Michigan?" which was really hard to answer. I was unprepared because no one else had asked me anything like that. I composed myself and gave an honest and heartfelt answer that included my desire to have a top notch school on my resume, the reputation of this program, its strong musical theatre program, and how collaboration and performance are such strong foundations. All in all, I think I did well. I sang well, I'm really starting to let the expression come out which only shows more of my musicality, and I hope they like the voice and credentials enough to pay me to go somewhere.
So tonight, as has been the norm, I will find a great little local restaurant, enjoy some wine and delicious food and call it an early night. Tomorrow my flight is later, so I'll get to wander a bit around campus and check out the downtown area some more. Then, pending no crazy delays (which, well... I can't even pretend to guess at anymore.) I'll be home tomorrow night and have the entire day of Sunday to sleep, relax, and feel a sense of normalcy for a day so I can teach one more week, travel one more time, and audition for one more school.
After that, it's just another performance of an opera I'm starring in that I've totally done already, so you know, nbd.
I just felt strange this week. Maybe it was residual jet lag from last week? I ended up cancelling all lessons on Wednesday because I woke up with a bit of a sore throat and made the decision to be a performer, not a teacher, which means my voice comes first. It's also nice to know I'll have Thursdays and Fridays for make ups, so that helps. It turned out to be a great decision because I went back to bed after sending all of the appropriate e-mails and slept until 1:30pm. Obviously my body needs the rest. Last night I slept like absolute crap on a cracker, but it did not negatively affect my singing today.
I mean, can you tell just by what I've typed already that I'm not entirely "with it" right now? I'll skip the "I know this is right for me" because we all know that by now, and that is continually reinforced even as each day goes by. I am constantly reminded either from observing phenomenal teaching, or from feeling the effects of working too hard for too little pay, that this is the right move. So onto the audition!
After getting up this morning and buying a hair brush, I was able to shower and prepare to find this school.
*Shout out to my parents for the wicked awesome GPS I got for xmas. Seriously best gift ever. Followed closely by the decanter. And my wireless drill. And my fuzzy socks. And my board game. Okay, I got some good stuff this xmas, but the GPS has paid itself forward 8 billion times already.*
I get to the building and immediately meet a turkey. A large, wild turkey that the locals cleverly call "Turk" who was chilling on the steps between me and my intended door. Two thoughts simultaneously popped in my head. One was a picture I imagined while listening to a story of an old Denny's friend being chased and pecked at by wild turkeys in Mattydale. The other was my Dad's voice sizing up the turkey, deciding "Turk" looked delicious. Dad's views won out and I cautiously made my way around the turkey who joined me in ascending a few steps but otherwise left me unscathed.
Once I made it to the check-in lobby, everything started looking up. I found the rooms I needed, got a small bite to eat, got a practice room and warmed up, and started the process of the third audition. My rehearsal with the accompanist went smoothly, he was super nice and encouraging, said I'd be a great fit at UMich. That's always nice to hear no matter who it's from. After a quick lunch, I re-warmed up (this was over the span of 2 hours) and headed to my audition room. When it was my turn to sing, I felt the same confidence I've had the last two times, complete with no dry mouth and announced my first choice. They then picked some of the most obscure rep from my list and I was pretty stoked to sing works I hadn't done at other schools. Only problem is, I TOTALLY messed up in one spot.
I know, I wasn't even going to mention it. I literally spent the last hour on the phone with Jim and at various points in the conversation I'd drift back to my audition and a few times I'd even blurt out about how I messed up and I shouldn't focus on it but I am. It's ridiculous. It was a small error, it was still a musical performance, and I was still able to show them what I can do as a singer. And I will never, EVER make that same mistake again, for the rest of my life.
Moving on, at the end they asked me about my teaching, mentioning how interesting it is that I've taught not only private voice but studio voice and a couple classes in all aspects of music. I got the impression they were pretty impressed. :) Then she asked "Why Michigan?" which was really hard to answer. I was unprepared because no one else had asked me anything like that. I composed myself and gave an honest and heartfelt answer that included my desire to have a top notch school on my resume, the reputation of this program, its strong musical theatre program, and how collaboration and performance are such strong foundations. All in all, I think I did well. I sang well, I'm really starting to let the expression come out which only shows more of my musicality, and I hope they like the voice and credentials enough to pay me to go somewhere.
So tonight, as has been the norm, I will find a great little local restaurant, enjoy some wine and delicious food and call it an early night. Tomorrow my flight is later, so I'll get to wander a bit around campus and check out the downtown area some more. Then, pending no crazy delays (which, well... I can't even pretend to guess at anymore.) I'll be home tomorrow night and have the entire day of Sunday to sleep, relax, and feel a sense of normalcy for a day so I can teach one more week, travel one more time, and audition for one more school.
After that, it's just another performance of an opera I'm starring in that I've totally done already, so you know, nbd.
Friday, January 20, 2012
1,000 Views. Dang.
That's pretty cool. I remember Diz commenting about being either the 100th or 300th viewer. That seemed awesome. Now I'm at 1000. Thanks peeps, for caring in what I have to say.
Onto the update.
Today was my audition at UC Boulder in Colorado. I got up bright and early, had a nice breakfast, had my spring jacket on and was at the university by 9:30am. I didn't have anything to do until 12:00 so I drove around awhile, only got honked at once, (they have funny ways of using green arrows.) and found out the perfect place to park is directly across the street from the music building. Probably a closer walk than when I park at Syracuse Stage. Then I start wandering the building. As check-in was yesterday and I missed that cuz I'm awesome, I didn't know where I was going, where anything was, and what I was supposed to do about that. So I found a lounge, sat for a few minutes, observed, and continued wandering. I picked what seemed to be an unlikely hallway which turned into the hallway of miracles as it housed access to practice rooms as well as the part of the building I had been seeking out to begin with. So I warmed up, vegged out, tried not to get nervous, then headed upstairs for my rehearsal with the pianist. I was in this little cove of voice people. It was 4 voice faculty offices, and this collaborative pianist's office as well. As I sat outside waiting for my time (he was in the middle of Mondnacht, and I couldn't bring myself to interrupt) the door to Patrick Mason's office (baritone) opened and he popped out after having just worked with another prospective student. He saw me sitting and struck up a convo with me. Asked my name, I told him and he immediately said "Oh yes, of course, I've been reading your file. Where are you from again?" I said Syracuse, and once again immediately he replied "Right, you're involved with the new music, and studied with Janet. Wow, what a singer." And then we had a talk about how amazing Janet is, which is easy to do. He asked about Neva Pilgrim (artistic director of Society for New Music who hires me for all of the amazing opportunities (Eleanor) that I've had in Syracuse) and I just felt like, the faculty really do care about the applicants. At least he took an interest enough to associate me with SU, Janet and new music. That was pretty cool. He ended the conversation by telling my outfit was absolutely gorgeous and a great audition outfit, and then headed off to the Q&A that I attended after my rehearsal.
This all happened mere moments after I was sitting in the chair thinking about how it's such a different experience coming to a school and not knowing anyone, how I felt really out there and alone and had no one at that moment to just... talk to. Then I get recognized by name and town for some of my accomplishments, and complimented on my outfit. That was a nice turn around.
The audition went well. I hesitated while typing that but you can't tell with punctuation because I don't want to be too down on myself. It's just weird singing at over 5,000 feet above sea level. I can't describe it. It's just different. In the practice rooms I didn't like what I was doing very much at all. In the hall, I was really happy with my first piece. I sang musically, I knew what I was singing about, and my high notes rocked. For the next piece they picked my Boulanger art song. It sits in the middle voice a lot which gets weaker as I get fatigued or nervous but instead of focusing solely on that I tried to continue to make each successive phrase more focused or supported than the last. Half way through the song, I realized something. Six years ago, almost to the exact weekend, I was in the very same room auditioning for some of the very same people - singing the very same song. I forgot I put that on my master's rep list for that school. It totally took my attention for a phrase but then, again, I pulled myself back in and finished the song with support and I hope, musicality. Then they heard just a portion of my oratorio and that was it. It felt so short after the 4 full pieces I sang at IU. They asked if I had any questions, I asked about TA-ships and accompanying, and then I was done. I sang right before their break so after as I walked out I ended up passing about 4 of the 8 people I just sang for. I wasn't feeling too great about the French, specifically, but each person I passed looked at me and told me I sang beautifully, which is different from the usual "thanks for singing for us today." I took that as a good sign. The head of the voice faculty stopped me as I was about to walk out and asked me a few questions about my voice and complimented my high notes. Not only am I generally a personable person, it's always good to let people you're auditioning for see more of the real you than just your voice so that was a fantastic opportunity. All in all, I think I made a good impression but again we're back to the waiting game.
After the audition, i vegged for a bit, then headed to downtown Boulder for some dinner.
I have a lot to say about my amazing dinner experience tonight but I'm le tired and got more into detail about the audition than I originally planned. So I end here. My computer tells me it's 11:30 back home so only 9:30 here but it feels like 11:30. Time for some more reading and then bed. Tomorrow I'll hit the gym, head back to the school for some masterclasses and more Q&A and then it's dinner with another old college friend, Schirm!
This certainly is turning into every bit the adventure I thought it would.
Onto the update.
Today was my audition at UC Boulder in Colorado. I got up bright and early, had a nice breakfast, had my spring jacket on and was at the university by 9:30am. I didn't have anything to do until 12:00 so I drove around awhile, only got honked at once, (they have funny ways of using green arrows.) and found out the perfect place to park is directly across the street from the music building. Probably a closer walk than when I park at Syracuse Stage. Then I start wandering the building. As check-in was yesterday and I missed that cuz I'm awesome, I didn't know where I was going, where anything was, and what I was supposed to do about that. So I found a lounge, sat for a few minutes, observed, and continued wandering. I picked what seemed to be an unlikely hallway which turned into the hallway of miracles as it housed access to practice rooms as well as the part of the building I had been seeking out to begin with. So I warmed up, vegged out, tried not to get nervous, then headed upstairs for my rehearsal with the pianist. I was in this little cove of voice people. It was 4 voice faculty offices, and this collaborative pianist's office as well. As I sat outside waiting for my time (he was in the middle of Mondnacht, and I couldn't bring myself to interrupt) the door to Patrick Mason's office (baritone) opened and he popped out after having just worked with another prospective student. He saw me sitting and struck up a convo with me. Asked my name, I told him and he immediately said "Oh yes, of course, I've been reading your file. Where are you from again?" I said Syracuse, and once again immediately he replied "Right, you're involved with the new music, and studied with Janet. Wow, what a singer." And then we had a talk about how amazing Janet is, which is easy to do. He asked about Neva Pilgrim (artistic director of Society for New Music who hires me for all of the amazing opportunities (Eleanor) that I've had in Syracuse) and I just felt like, the faculty really do care about the applicants. At least he took an interest enough to associate me with SU, Janet and new music. That was pretty cool. He ended the conversation by telling my outfit was absolutely gorgeous and a great audition outfit, and then headed off to the Q&A that I attended after my rehearsal.
This all happened mere moments after I was sitting in the chair thinking about how it's such a different experience coming to a school and not knowing anyone, how I felt really out there and alone and had no one at that moment to just... talk to. Then I get recognized by name and town for some of my accomplishments, and complimented on my outfit. That was a nice turn around.
The audition went well. I hesitated while typing that but you can't tell with punctuation because I don't want to be too down on myself. It's just weird singing at over 5,000 feet above sea level. I can't describe it. It's just different. In the practice rooms I didn't like what I was doing very much at all. In the hall, I was really happy with my first piece. I sang musically, I knew what I was singing about, and my high notes rocked. For the next piece they picked my Boulanger art song. It sits in the middle voice a lot which gets weaker as I get fatigued or nervous but instead of focusing solely on that I tried to continue to make each successive phrase more focused or supported than the last. Half way through the song, I realized something. Six years ago, almost to the exact weekend, I was in the very same room auditioning for some of the very same people - singing the very same song. I forgot I put that on my master's rep list for that school. It totally took my attention for a phrase but then, again, I pulled myself back in and finished the song with support and I hope, musicality. Then they heard just a portion of my oratorio and that was it. It felt so short after the 4 full pieces I sang at IU. They asked if I had any questions, I asked about TA-ships and accompanying, and then I was done. I sang right before their break so after as I walked out I ended up passing about 4 of the 8 people I just sang for. I wasn't feeling too great about the French, specifically, but each person I passed looked at me and told me I sang beautifully, which is different from the usual "thanks for singing for us today." I took that as a good sign. The head of the voice faculty stopped me as I was about to walk out and asked me a few questions about my voice and complimented my high notes. Not only am I generally a personable person, it's always good to let people you're auditioning for see more of the real you than just your voice so that was a fantastic opportunity. All in all, I think I made a good impression but again we're back to the waiting game.
After the audition, i vegged for a bit, then headed to downtown Boulder for some dinner.
I have a lot to say about my amazing dinner experience tonight but I'm le tired and got more into detail about the audition than I originally planned. So I end here. My computer tells me it's 11:30 back home so only 9:30 here but it feels like 11:30. Time for some more reading and then bed. Tomorrow I'll hit the gym, head back to the school for some masterclasses and more Q&A and then it's dinner with another old college friend, Schirm!
This certainly is turning into every bit the adventure I thought it would.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Indiana, not Louisiana, Paris France, NY or Rome...
This is late in coming. Sorry peeps. The general overview is it was a whirlwind weekend complete with a reunion of the "power of four" plus "the creator" and a 30th birthday on top of horrendous travel issues and an amazing audition. Where to start? At the beginning of course.
I hate re-living bad experiences so I'll keep it simple. The day I left was the first day it really decided to snow in Syracuse so of course flights got delayed and lovely little layovers (woah alliteration!) were missed sending me to distant states and adding to my already long day. Instead of flying into Indianapolis, IN and driving the hour to Bloomington with my rental car of $40, I flew into Cincinnati, OH 6 hours later, drove the 2 hours to Bloomington with my rental car of $500. I'm not certain where to go to fight this but it will be fought. Thus endeth the bad crap.
I get to Bloomington, see my girl Paula who along with her bf Clinton were so hospitable and wonderful to spend the weekend with. Thanks again Paula!! Saturday was the big day. I was able to meet up with my pianist who so happened to be a friend of mine from Crane who's played not one, not two, but now three of my college auditions. It's a nice little relationship we have going on. He met with me early in the day to go over some of my music which was amazing because IU (Indiana University) was the only school that did not include a rehearsal with the accompanist before hand. So we rocked out a bit, caught up a bit, then I went on my merry way and tried to keep it cool before getting ready for the actual audition.
The actual audition (the outfit has been posted on FB and I'm pretty sure just about EVERYONE has seen it so I don't need to go into detail, but rest assured it is my new audition outfit.) was a wonderful experience. I felt confident walking in, my mouth did not instantly go dry as it always has before when I feel nerves, I felt in control of my text, my musicality and my technique and though it was far from perfect (which I never strive for), it was good. I left feeling like I sang well. And that's really all I can do. If the 19 people in the room (Yes, 19. Big-Ass-Program.) liked me, that's up to them.
I spent the rest of the evening having dinner with Jer (pianist friend), Paula and Clinton, then retired to the abode with a bottle of wine and a nice relaxing evening of chit chat with some fabulous people.
The flight home included some delays, some Rossi parents (and uncle!) and an SU student and was otherwise uneventful.
When I got home, it was on. :)
This past Monday, my dear sister Stanley Marie turned the dirty thirty. Shannon came up from Florida, Kristy and Jaden came in from the Mills, and I came home from Indiana. I got back to town on recovery day, but that's fine because I had been up since 5:30am and had traveled home which, for any frequent flyers, is never an invigorating day. I also had a music rehearsal for Eleanor, the opera I did last year that we're reuniting for, so that was 2 1/2 hours of singing after the audition and travel and early mornings. Yeah that was fun.
The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out, playing games, spending time with my amazingly cute and loving and heart-wrenchingly wonderful niece and nephews*, (minus the two nieces in FL... I can't have everything.) (frownie face) and celebrating Stan! Then the semester started, I taught for two days and am now in Colorado for the 2nd audition of the cycle. This flight came with its own slew of awesome. I check in and the first thing the woman says at the counter: "Your flight has been delayed and you're going to miss your connection."
I almost cried. I nearly did, if I'm being honest. I was supposed to have a rehearsal in Boulder at 5:50pm and now I wasn't getting to Denver (30-40 mins away) until 5:00 and that doesn't include getting my bag or rental car. I was understandably agitated. At this point all formalities were gone. No more Miss Nice Bridget. Yeah, that's right, when I get mad, I... well I... I didn't politely smile at everyone working. Yeah! And then another worker guy asked if he could help me and I said (with daggers in my voice, I'm SURE) "nope." Ooh the burn!
As I interacted with airport employees farther and farther away from the first devil woman of flight ruining proportions, I became increasingly more pleasant and then enjoyed a really nice layover in Newark complete with Mexican lunch and a manicure, and an equally nice flight with a good book that is Twilight for 25-35 year olds. Now I'm here, all checked into the hotel and awaiting the arrival of my delicious food.
The time change is interesting, I'd like to think I can take advantage of it and get to bed early and be up early according to Mountain Time, but I'll probably adjust and be more screwy when I go back.
Audition is tomorrow, I'll keep you all posted on how this one goes!
*An example of the heart-wrenchingly wonderfulness:
Jaden to me: How did you get back so fast?
Me: I drove really really fast!
Jaden: Why?
Me: So I could see you of course!
Jaden: (pauses) Do you love me?
Me: So very much. :)
Jaden: With your heart?
Me: (melting on the inside) To the ends of the earth and back.
My heart grew three sizes that day.
I hate re-living bad experiences so I'll keep it simple. The day I left was the first day it really decided to snow in Syracuse so of course flights got delayed and lovely little layovers (woah alliteration!) were missed sending me to distant states and adding to my already long day. Instead of flying into Indianapolis, IN and driving the hour to Bloomington with my rental car of $40, I flew into Cincinnati, OH 6 hours later, drove the 2 hours to Bloomington with my rental car of $500. I'm not certain where to go to fight this but it will be fought. Thus endeth the bad crap.
I get to Bloomington, see my girl Paula who along with her bf Clinton were so hospitable and wonderful to spend the weekend with. Thanks again Paula!! Saturday was the big day. I was able to meet up with my pianist who so happened to be a friend of mine from Crane who's played not one, not two, but now three of my college auditions. It's a nice little relationship we have going on. He met with me early in the day to go over some of my music which was amazing because IU (Indiana University) was the only school that did not include a rehearsal with the accompanist before hand. So we rocked out a bit, caught up a bit, then I went on my merry way and tried to keep it cool before getting ready for the actual audition.
The actual audition (the outfit has been posted on FB and I'm pretty sure just about EVERYONE has seen it so I don't need to go into detail, but rest assured it is my new audition outfit.) was a wonderful experience. I felt confident walking in, my mouth did not instantly go dry as it always has before when I feel nerves, I felt in control of my text, my musicality and my technique and though it was far from perfect (which I never strive for), it was good. I left feeling like I sang well. And that's really all I can do. If the 19 people in the room (Yes, 19. Big-Ass-Program.) liked me, that's up to them.
I spent the rest of the evening having dinner with Jer (pianist friend), Paula and Clinton, then retired to the abode with a bottle of wine and a nice relaxing evening of chit chat with some fabulous people.
The flight home included some delays, some Rossi parents (and uncle!) and an SU student and was otherwise uneventful.
When I got home, it was on. :)
This past Monday, my dear sister Stanley Marie turned the dirty thirty. Shannon came up from Florida, Kristy and Jaden came in from the Mills, and I came home from Indiana. I got back to town on recovery day, but that's fine because I had been up since 5:30am and had traveled home which, for any frequent flyers, is never an invigorating day. I also had a music rehearsal for Eleanor, the opera I did last year that we're reuniting for, so that was 2 1/2 hours of singing after the audition and travel and early mornings. Yeah that was fun.
The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out, playing games, spending time with my amazingly cute and loving and heart-wrenchingly wonderful niece and nephews*, (minus the two nieces in FL... I can't have everything.) (frownie face) and celebrating Stan! Then the semester started, I taught for two days and am now in Colorado for the 2nd audition of the cycle. This flight came with its own slew of awesome. I check in and the first thing the woman says at the counter: "Your flight has been delayed and you're going to miss your connection."
I almost cried. I nearly did, if I'm being honest. I was supposed to have a rehearsal in Boulder at 5:50pm and now I wasn't getting to Denver (30-40 mins away) until 5:00 and that doesn't include getting my bag or rental car. I was understandably agitated. At this point all formalities were gone. No more Miss Nice Bridget. Yeah, that's right, when I get mad, I... well I... I didn't politely smile at everyone working. Yeah! And then another worker guy asked if he could help me and I said (with daggers in my voice, I'm SURE) "nope." Ooh the burn!
As I interacted with airport employees farther and farther away from the first devil woman of flight ruining proportions, I became increasingly more pleasant and then enjoyed a really nice layover in Newark complete with Mexican lunch and a manicure, and an equally nice flight with a good book that is Twilight for 25-35 year olds. Now I'm here, all checked into the hotel and awaiting the arrival of my delicious food.
The time change is interesting, I'd like to think I can take advantage of it and get to bed early and be up early according to Mountain Time, but I'll probably adjust and be more screwy when I go back.
Audition is tomorrow, I'll keep you all posted on how this one goes!
*An example of the heart-wrenchingly wonderfulness:
Jaden to me: How did you get back so fast?
Me: I drove really really fast!
Jaden: Why?
Me: So I could see you of course!
Jaden: (pauses) Do you love me?
Me: So very much. :)
Jaden: With your heart?
Me: (melting on the inside) To the ends of the earth and back.
My heart grew three sizes that day.
Monday, January 9, 2012
The first goodbye
For the last 4 years I have music directed the shows at North Syracuse Junior High - my old school and first experience with the public school system. I have worked directly alongside my junior high chorus teacher but now we collaborate as friends. It's pretty great, and this year we had a really wonderful group of kids. Sure, they got chatty, sure they didn't always improve in the ways I hoped, but at their core, they were - and are - great kids.
This past weekend was our show, Cinderella, and on Wednesday I was not convinced it was a show at all. There were still some major issues from every angle and it had a long way to go before I thought an audience could see it. Thursday rolled around and everything changed. We ended up with a preciously adorable show with some really sweet moments, some really funny moments, and an all around pleasant hour and a half. This is all being mentioned because this was my last show with NS. (Unless the stars align and after getting my DMA I get a job back home and have the time in my schedule...) I sincerely enjoyed going to rehearsal every day to hang around these kids and I felt respected and, well, cared for there. It hit me last night, though. This was my first 'goodbye' as a result of my leaving to pursue the DMA. Couple that with the fact that my first audition is 6 days away, and a range of feelings and emotions that I cannot describe begin to occur. It boils down to what I've said in nearly every blog of recent posting: This is actually happening. Every now and then I step back and think for a moment and realize how grown up I've become. I realize this at times when I'm filling out applications, planning my career moves 5 years in advance, and when I think about problems with my apartment and what needs to be done to remedy those, and when I look at my list of bills and budgets. (Then I look at my bedroom and I'm brought right back being a teenager. But hey, maybe this will all work together! When I can get a full time job, I won't be so busy all the time and can take better care of my room! See, it all works out.)
Well, I can't say much more about this, but what I can say is I'm ready. I'm ready for a change, and I'm ready for the next step in my life and career to take me to new places, new adventures, and hopefully to a sense of fulfillment. I don't necessarily feel unfulfilled right now, I enjoy spreading my gifts around and having small impacts on many little lives. I just want a job that I'll retire from. I don't need the new excitement every 10 years. I like routine, I like the expected, I like stability. I love a little adventure and some spontaneity at times, but I really like the idea of being a step closer to the career I'll keep for the rest of my life. That is a good feeling.
This past weekend was our show, Cinderella, and on Wednesday I was not convinced it was a show at all. There were still some major issues from every angle and it had a long way to go before I thought an audience could see it. Thursday rolled around and everything changed. We ended up with a preciously adorable show with some really sweet moments, some really funny moments, and an all around pleasant hour and a half. This is all being mentioned because this was my last show with NS. (Unless the stars align and after getting my DMA I get a job back home and have the time in my schedule...) I sincerely enjoyed going to rehearsal every day to hang around these kids and I felt respected and, well, cared for there. It hit me last night, though. This was my first 'goodbye' as a result of my leaving to pursue the DMA. Couple that with the fact that my first audition is 6 days away, and a range of feelings and emotions that I cannot describe begin to occur. It boils down to what I've said in nearly every blog of recent posting: This is actually happening. Every now and then I step back and think for a moment and realize how grown up I've become. I realize this at times when I'm filling out applications, planning my career moves 5 years in advance, and when I think about problems with my apartment and what needs to be done to remedy those, and when I look at my list of bills and budgets. (Then I look at my bedroom and I'm brought right back being a teenager. But hey, maybe this will all work together! When I can get a full time job, I won't be so busy all the time and can take better care of my room! See, it all works out.)
Well, I can't say much more about this, but what I can say is I'm ready. I'm ready for a change, and I'm ready for the next step in my life and career to take me to new places, new adventures, and hopefully to a sense of fulfillment. I don't necessarily feel unfulfilled right now, I enjoy spreading my gifts around and having small impacts on many little lives. I just want a job that I'll retire from. I don't need the new excitement every 10 years. I like routine, I like the expected, I like stability. I love a little adventure and some spontaneity at times, but I really like the idea of being a step closer to the career I'll keep for the rest of my life. That is a good feeling.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Mood Swings
I had a really crappy morning. I didn't sleep well, I had to drop off my car to get looked at, (washer fluid sprayers did not work properly) they wanted to charge me $85 to fix something on my car that I clearly did not break as I've only had said car 9 months, and I've been struggling with a moral dilemma nearly all day. Burdick Chevy called me back and said they'd "pay" for the fixing of the car, which I thought was a smart move so that was score one for me. I was looking for help with this dilemma that I am sorry will not be shared here because I do not believe everything needs to be public knowledge, but by "help" I mean that I wanted someone to tell me exactly what to do so my decision didn't have to rest on my own conscience. Basically, I didn't want to be an adult with responsibilities but life had different plans for me.
After picking up my car which now has fabulous washer fluid sprayers, but still low tire pressure (I guess that "complimentary" top off the service guy mentioned only worked for paying customers, score .25 for them, .75 for me.) I head to rehearsal. In need of foodage I break down and swing through the Wendy's drive-thru. (Don't start, I know it was not my best weight-loss choice of the day.) Now, as any drive-thru pro knows, you now have to specify what size meal you want and what to drink. I know the order, I know the procedures, I am mid-sentence explaining what I want when the overly chipper order taker interrupts me to ask "small, medium or large, and what to drink?" After taking a calming breath, I told her and pulled ahead upon receiving my total.
Immediately, a blog starts forming in my head. One about how we know how to work drive thrus, if you just had some damn patience and let me finish a sentence, you'd save you and I some valuable time! I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, you suck, I win, time is money, ensuing pretentiousness.
I pull up to pay and as you might expect, the sweetest and most genuine woman accepts my payment, delivers my food with a warm smile, graciously gives me a new straw after I successfully obliterate the first one, and sincerely tells me to have a great day and enjoy my meal.
Well damn. There goes that blog.
Immediately I have yet another moment of realization that a few extra seconds does NOT always have a negative outcome like I think it will. Sure, a second can change everything, but most of the time, it can't hurt to spare a moment to be sincere. I thought about that on my way to the bank, and when I realized I had left my 3rd check at home and could only deposit the two I had, it didn't bother me as it would have earlier in the day. My entire mood had changed thanks to that one server.
The rest of my day carried on with various wins and losses for me, but as I sit here on my fantastic furniture with a delicious cup of hot beef bouillon, (wow that word is spelled strangely) I remember yet again that as right as I swear to the sweet Baby Jesus (my favorite Jesus) that I am, I can ALWAYS take more time to step back, see the world as a whole, and relax.
I hope maybe you all can do the same once in awhile.
Especially when you're driving. Because that would make my resolution to be a more patient driver a lot easier.
And for those of you judging my lunch of choice today, back off. It's tech week.
After picking up my car which now has fabulous washer fluid sprayers, but still low tire pressure (I guess that "complimentary" top off the service guy mentioned only worked for paying customers, score .25 for them, .75 for me.) I head to rehearsal. In need of foodage I break down and swing through the Wendy's drive-thru. (Don't start, I know it was not my best weight-loss choice of the day.) Now, as any drive-thru pro knows, you now have to specify what size meal you want and what to drink. I know the order, I know the procedures, I am mid-sentence explaining what I want when the overly chipper order taker interrupts me to ask "small, medium or large, and what to drink?" After taking a calming breath, I told her and pulled ahead upon receiving my total.
Immediately, a blog starts forming in my head. One about how we know how to work drive thrus, if you just had some damn patience and let me finish a sentence, you'd save you and I some valuable time! I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, you suck, I win, time is money, ensuing pretentiousness.
I pull up to pay and as you might expect, the sweetest and most genuine woman accepts my payment, delivers my food with a warm smile, graciously gives me a new straw after I successfully obliterate the first one, and sincerely tells me to have a great day and enjoy my meal.
Well damn. There goes that blog.
Immediately I have yet another moment of realization that a few extra seconds does NOT always have a negative outcome like I think it will. Sure, a second can change everything, but most of the time, it can't hurt to spare a moment to be sincere. I thought about that on my way to the bank, and when I realized I had left my 3rd check at home and could only deposit the two I had, it didn't bother me as it would have earlier in the day. My entire mood had changed thanks to that one server.
The rest of my day carried on with various wins and losses for me, but as I sit here on my fantastic furniture with a delicious cup of hot beef bouillon, (wow that word is spelled strangely) I remember yet again that as right as I swear to the sweet Baby Jesus (my favorite Jesus) that I am, I can ALWAYS take more time to step back, see the world as a whole, and relax.
I hope maybe you all can do the same once in awhile.
Especially when you're driving. Because that would make my resolution to be a more patient driver a lot easier.
And for those of you judging my lunch of choice today, back off. It's tech week.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Alms for a travelling singer
I just purchased all of my flights, rental cars, and most of my hotels for the three auditions I have booked. It's eff bombing expensive. I knew it would be, don't get me wrong. It just makes me thankful that I have a handy credit card to use for things like this that I will then pay off by next month. I think. No, I will, this has been the plan all along. It's just slowly become a reality. The month of November, as mentioned before, was insane. Now December is completely gone, heck, 2011 is completely gone, and my first audition is in 12 days. That one is all set, I have a place to stay, a flight and a rental car. Might I add, renting through Hertz via AAA was by FAR the cheapest, like, by half of what other "discount" sites would offer. That was a good find. But it's all happening. Like, really really happening. If these people like me, I will be going back to school next year.
GAH!!
I'll lose some bills (in-school deferment on those loans babay!!) but acquire new ones with a new rent and completely different source of income. I'll really have to sit down and figure out finances, which I am OH so good at doing. (sarcasm abounding) I'll have to be... an... a....ad....adu.... oh I can't even say it. (adult)
Whatever, I'm ready. Bring it on, DMA auditions! If I'm scared of making a bad impression, I'll never end up making one. And who likes a forgettable soprano?
GAH!!
I'll lose some bills (in-school deferment on those loans babay!!) but acquire new ones with a new rent and completely different source of income. I'll really have to sit down and figure out finances, which I am OH so good at doing. (sarcasm abounding) I'll have to be... an... a....ad....adu.... oh I can't even say it. (adult)
Whatever, I'm ready. Bring it on, DMA auditions! If I'm scared of making a bad impression, I'll never end up making one. And who likes a forgettable soprano?
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